Con Friends In Conference

There are some people who seek any Connection or pretext, no matter how tenous, to get something for themselves. The reward for such behavior should be equally tenous. In Nigeria, my country, when you have money, everyone loves and cherishes you. Of course, who wants to be identified with losers? With money, even those who never knew you from Adam, even your worst enemies, according to Ukwa, will “claim relationship”. Even if you live in the forest, “friends” will make a beaten path to your door. They will call you “cousin”, “uncle”. Why not, when you are now affluent and influential? Because you are no more a nobody but a somebody, they will say you are the nearest and dearest. Because your bags of money are bursting at their seams, they will say you are the best. They can even say you are divine… mostly because they are not at the giving but receiving end, deceiving to receive.
Mr. Tortoise is a widely loved trickster and wise fool in African folklore . One day friends who loved to hunt came to visit him. “I have brought you a grass cutter I just caught”, he said proudly as he stepped into the house. “It will make a fine dinner”. Tortoise gladly cooked the grass-cutter into a stew, and they sat down to a fine feast. The very next day a stranger knocked on tortoise's door. “Who are you?” inquired tortoise. “I am a neighbor of your friend the hunter who brought you the grass-cutter yesterday”, he said. Tortoise politely invited him inside and set a dinner before him. “These are the leftovers of our grass-cuter stew”, Tortoise said, and the Commissioner for longer throat ate heartily. The very next day another stranger knocked on Tortoise's door. “Who are you?”, asked Tortoise. “I am a cousin of the neighbor of your friend the hunter who brought you the grass-cutter”, he explained. “Come in”, said tortoise (ikut Obong nkari). He sat the man at the table and set before him a bowl of hot water. “What is this”? asked the stranger (owo idiok itong). Tortoise replied: “that is water boiled in the same pot as the grass-cutter of my friend who is the neighbour of your cousin”. “Serves our so-called friends right”, you would say.
Who is a friend? To me he or she is one who comes in first while the whole world has gone out. Such a friend is one who thinks with you, feels with you and according to Shakespeare, bears your infirmities. Though distant he is close to you in spirit. An ardent friend is one to whom you may pour out all the contents of your heart. He is one who brings out the best in you, not a flatterer for selfish gains. He should help you up or better keep you from falling, not the seasonal types who are useful only on sunny or fair-weather days. Remember that your best friend has a best friend and that best friend has a best friend etc. The friend of a friend of a friend, I mean. Think twice, your “friends” may be in meeting hatching some secret agenda. Know what you do and say to your best friend(s). But if it is a good and right act, keep doing it; if it is a good and right word, keep saying it. As a real friend, your friend must be royal through thick and thin, he cannot be replaced. He samaritanously stands by in your hour of need and celebrates your success any time without envy or malice. Shalamar sings “I've got friends!”. Nobody says you shouldn't have them but somebody is advising: mind the type you choose or choose them with care you may become what they are. Aristotle, a giant of philosophy and master of those who know, when asked who is friends were, answered: “Friends! There are no friends”. Friends, no doubt, are indispensable, but they can betray. The very ones you bare your soul to, who dream with you of castle and spaceship; the very ones you share your word of innocence can disappoint or “Judas” you. Oh! That you betray your whole nation than betray a friend! When the hard-hearted jew, Shylock in Merchant of Vanice wanted to extract a pound of flesh from the Vanitian Merchant (Antonio) for failing in a bond he committed himself, Antonio with prepared mind for death, said to his friend “Give me your hand, Bassanio! Fare you well! Grieve not that I am fallen into this misfortune for you, commend me to your honourable wife tell her how I have loved you,! Bassanio, in deepest sorrow, replied: “Antonio, I am married to a wife who is dear to me as life itself, and all the world are not valued by me above your life. I would lose all, I would give all to this devil here to save you”. Friends indeed! They took themselves as extensions of each other. David and Jonathan, another pair of friends in reference. How sincere or true is your personal relationship with your other friend(s)? Personally I appreciate these three groups of friends: those friends who love me, because they are the ones who teach tenderness ; those friends who are indifferent to me, because they teach me to be self-reliant; and those friends who hate me, because they teach me to be cautious. There are not many things so beautiful and uncommon as true friendship. In every heart there is a yeaning for love or caring (I don't mean crush or flaming infatuation; I don't mean love-deluxe, the type you say “I'd die for you, honey” but refuse to die). Akwa Ibom people, please let us nurture or support one another faithfully. Solomon the wise in his Proverbs 18:24 says “he that hath friends must show himself friendly”. Friendship to life, as I see, should be like what the sun is to the sky, a kind of there's no- me without - you affair. Friendship divides your grief and doubles your joy in life. You are not an island nor a lake, entirely on its own; you need somebody to lean on, and somebody needs your shoulder too. It is wise and nice we build relationship with one another otherwise we shall be struggling on our own and never really producing much fruits.
Dear Governor Akpabio, a word to you again: we read and hear respectively from the print and electronic media of kidnapping, cultism and other vices that are turning Akwa Ibom people from hitherto peaceful and respected saints to feared and disreputable devils. The jingles condemn this daily. Whenever I pause and ponder over a possible shame or disintegrity that our beloved state would be thrown into should cultists or kidnappers strike, I shrink and shudder. I want to say I encourage your courage, dear governor, in wanting to stamp out this menace for the general good of the state. Please, go ahead and do that no matter whose ox is gored. You promised “there would be no sacred cows”. Tell your friends what must be told even if it offends them (Ibibio ete owo ama owo, afat idem nkang atuk; owo ama owo atum utebe inua. Annang ete owo ama owo anyai afit ono. My Oron brothers, please borrow me a sentence). In a few words, our digital Governor, mind the tools you use. God told Gideon: “The people are yet too many. You need only a few of the bravest and best men to fight in this battle”. Yours is no battle, no war; it is neither a feud nor strife, but the job of cleansing this God-given state which you are governing. Unuse the useless tools - be they Oruuk, Ukot ye Imaan, be they brothers or friends.

To drive home the story of friends, in a couple of days we shall be commemorating the deathday of the best friend in Christendom, the Justman of Galilee our passionate Christ. “Greater love hath no man“. In the lighter mood, I am wishing that our state will have no more fools but friends from April 1st henceforth. On a serious note, it is my prayer that He (Christ, Eti Ufan Owo), parvilioned in splendor, makes good riddance to every bad rubbish in this state. So, help us, God.
Happy Easter ahead!