Blessed To Punish Others?

In The Community Shield tabloid of 29th May 2008, I admonished my state governor with an end statement, “nyai mmiong kap sad ado eyop”. It was not like the 5 pieces of advice from the High Chief, after all the governor had/has his own government advisers. It was not a question either; I mean one question, not 15 stirring ones. The jokeful story that gave birth to that my “foul language”, I' m sure, was understandable to the reading public except one unidentified “Special Assistant” who called via a secret number and queried me why I should ridicule his boss. The anonymous, fire-brand S.A said many things an ended with “you are an idiot”. My reply: “yes, sir. How did you know?”. On 9th March 2010 inside Global Concord, I wrote “nte adia ke oboro ono”. This statement too did not go down well with some politicians. Yes, without hypocrisy, I was referring to those Ado Ok politicians who are beneficiaries of the present government but are two edged swords. I wanted to direct today's questioning caption to “my guy”, “my man”, “owo mmi” the honorable chairman of Ini Local Government Area, Obong Boniface Okon Essien, following reports and counter reports against him. I don't know how he would have felt; I don't know how his supporters and admirers would have felt too. I thank God that those who accused him of every sin under the sun have rescinded or eaten their words. Thumps up! Boni. No, making the chairman's story personal wouldn't have been justifiable, so I am generalizing it to touch my President, Governors, Local Government Chairmen, Counselors, Royal Fathers, the Clergy, Family Heads, everyone in position of responsibility. I ask all these lucky people: “were you blessed to punish others? Let me please refer you to an article in The Shield of 17th June 2008 which Hon. Boni's name is also mentioned. The excerpt:
“In this state, I have had the opportunity of chatting with a few would be chairmen and counselors. Majority of those I spoke with never impressed me. From their speeches it means that their main aim is to go and drain the treasury. Their defense mechanism is that no predecessor ever left office as a saint. “What of so-so and so who did so-so and so?”, they would ask you. On the contrary, I have got friends like Wayas, Ifiok Udoh, indomitable Otuekong Nse Essien, Obong Boniface Essien, Usoro Ukpanah, Mac Joe and Prince Ubong Sabestian Umoren who have assured that they want to go and deliver nothing but their best if elected. I wish them all the best and pray that their intended best be good enough.
But - - - - - - mph! The politician! A man of many words. He speaks with both sides of the mouth, one word against the other. He is one funny creature in the animal kingdom. When warmed on government seat, he becomes a sadist. He feels blessed to punish you who voted him into power. Real schemers, these politicians, as greedy as crocodiles. They get into politics not to do well but to do well, you know what I mean. They wonder why they shouldn't steal more than their predecessors did. For a vote, a politician promises he will build the people a bridge even where there is no river; he promises to put air conditioners in women's kitchens and offer their children loans. The politician knows how to turn like a worm to make himself popular and happy with the people. He tells you he knows the solutions to all your socio economic and other problems. He tells you that government is the art of trying to solve problems. In this guise money is easily expended because it doesn't appear to belong to anyone. The politician is a smart guy with the eyes of a vulture and the memory of an elephant. He promises to take you to the rainbow's farthest end but you won't find a pot of gold there. Because he got there by hook or crook, he must practice hook or crook there. One thing I like about them is that they agree that the government is bad and they themselves are not leading by good examples, although they like the sound of their noise. As con is the opposite of pro so is their congress the opposite of progress. They press The Press whenever they open their can of worms or wash their dirty linen outside; they hate The Press for not allowing sleeping dogs to lie or everything to be swept under the carpet. If you think you can kick the politician for his neat lies, he breaks your feet. Artful dodger, I tell you! A real Nigerian politician, come sun or high waters, even under closest scrutiny, must succeed to be in government or the “Officers' Mess” where they mess with the three arms of government and even the long arm of the law. The Nigerian politicians want to be all winners and they want the winners to take all. They say they have all the answers. The politician, a very vivacious guy, is an LG (Life's Good). He likes praises that are awashed with adornments and garnishes. He feels like living eternally to enjoy the good life. He doesn't think of “punctuations”, talk less of the world ending the next minute. If the administration is over and he has almost squandered all he had, he becomes a “complainant” and fights like a wounded lion to enlist in the new regime. The Nigerian politicians want first, second, third terms; in short, they want terms without termination. They claim it is their birthright to rule till death do them part. I wish they realize before late the hazards of dictatorship or despotism; I wish they listen to Lord Acton: “power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely”
Beloved Akwa Ibom Ibomites, it is said that bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote. Please, go out and vote. You can't tell me you don't know the good candidates in your environment. Don't mortgage your right or conscience for a mere porridge. Vote for the devil you know instead of the angel you don't know. Be patriotic. You know nowadays how I love telling tales. I have a couple of them for you. The first one reminds us that HONESTY is the best policy, if for no reason that truth has a way of coming out in the end: a fisherman (let's call him Peter) went at sunrise to his favorite spot in the river, cast his line, and pulled out a fat, shinning fish. It weighed exactly six pounds. He took it home and proudly showed it to his wife. “Greatest fish I ever caught”, he said. “Six pounds of pure pleasure. I will cook a grand feast tonight”, he said like Udo Abianga of the etok idim yoho-yoho fame. Then he left the house and went to work. His wife could not take her eyes off the fish. The fish made her eyes water, it looked so tempting. At last she couldn't stand it any longer. She cooked it and sent for her brother and they gorged themselves until there wasn't a morsel left. That evening Mr.Peter came home to find no fish. “I am sorry”, his wife cried, “But while I was in the farm, the cat came into the kitchen and ate the whole thing from head to tail”. Mr. Peter seized the cat and put it on a scale. It weighed exactly six pounds. Calculation and Accountability, you would call it. “If this is my fish, then where is the cat?”, Mr. Peter asked. “And if this is the cat, then I wonder where just my fish might be” end of story. Ekong nke e!
The second tale is a real bold face lie. Some people act on the theory that if they hold their heads high enough, no one will question their lies. To me, the more Mr. Tortoise talks to impress me, the louder he tells me of his honor, any time he shakes my hand, all I do to him is a dishonorable service of counting my fingers before him to ensure they are complete. The politician! Let's leave him a while and listen to the tale: one day a hunter knocked on the door of a fellow hunter and asked “will you lend me your dog for a while?”. “My good friend”, the colleague replied, “you know there is nothing in the world I wouldn't do for you. I would love to lend you my dog. But I am afraid the dog is not around today”. Just then the dog gave a bark loud enough to wake the dead. “Well, this is my lucky day”, said the beggar hunter. “It seems your dog is here after all”. “How dare you”, protested the owner hunter, puffing up with shocked indignation. “Are you going to believe my dog and doubt me, a man of distinction and status?” Ha ha- ha! De man dem a call politician. Who is fooling who, my broda?
As you get on board, sweet politicians, I beseech you in the bowels of Christ, keep to your promises and oath of office. If I try you in the first 10 days (is it 100days?) and you don't perform positively, I have gotten news for you: since it is said that every rod or staff of government is usually crooked at the top, I will suggest to our President that we turn the top (that's the handle) downwards and the bottom upwards. I will tell him that we must go back to that antique system where masquerades took the places of government officials (for masquerades know nothing about avarice). I will suggest to the president that we use animals instead.The bill will be passed; the lower and higher houses will give the nod. Animals are governed by natural laws which are uninfluenced by either sentiments or prejudice. They are such agreeable friends that ask no questions nor pass criticisms. They have none of our humanity's vices. Where masquerades or animals fail, the best to do for this greed-ridden, lopsided, rule and -ruin country is to be fervently prayerful I mean real prayers, not commercial prayers. Welcome, guys. Let your words be your bond. End of quote.
Fellow Nigerians, incumbent helmsmen and intending ones, poor and rich, men and women, young and old, let's pause and ponder; let's stop, think and act right, then we will be one collective beneficiaries.
God bless Nigeria.